You Might Be a Rapist

I know the title is startling, unless you read it in your best Jeff Foxworthy voice, but I gotta get your attention somehow. *Trigger Warning: please contact RAINN for help* And if it made you think twice about that one encounter you had in college with someone who was way drunk, or that time you pressured someone into doing something they weren’t comfortable with, you might be a rapist.

Since the New Year is quickly approaching and making resolutions is a thing people do I thought I’d make a list for you of things that may make you a sexual predator, so you can be sure to not do them in your lifetime. Heregoes, you might be a rapist:

• If you think you have a “right” to have sex with anyone, including your spouse
• If you think what I’m wearing means I want to have sex with you
• If you think you’re owed sex for buying coffee or a drink or dinner
  
• If you stare, grunt, yell, honk or touch yourself when looking at someone you find attractive
• If you masturbate to Toddlers and Tiaras *pedophile rapist*
• If you think “nice tits” is an appropriate compliment for anyone other than your partner (who does not object to it)
• If you think it is complimentary to harass strangers in public
• If you feel compelled to only compliment strangers of the gender(s) to which you are attracted
• If you date people with whose race/ethnicity you don’t identify because you think they’re “easier”  *racist rapist*
  
• If you use the word easy to describe people
• If you prefer porn where someone is “asleep” or looks like they are actively being violently and non-consensually assaulted
• If you think an underage girl is a predator preying on older men, is equally responsible for her assault or has any age other than her biological age *pedophile rapist*
• If you think someone has to have sex with you to prove they love you
• If you use diminutive pet words when talking to people in the service industry
• If you refuse to use condoms/birth control… Assange *cough*
  
• If you think prisons are funny
• If you think high school football and/or football players are more important than women’s bodily integrity
• If you LOVE American Apparel ads
• If you believe that “real rape” is when a black man jumps out of the bushes with a gun and rapes a white woman *racist rapist*
• If you think rape survivors whom you don’t find attractive (ie. larger, older or disabled) should be grateful
• If you don’t take survivors’ stories seriously
• If you think that successful, attractive men couldn’t rape anyone
  
• If you support celebrities, politicians and international icons who are running from the law because of sexual assault charges
• If you threaten people with rape when you don’t like what they say
• If you think male-identified people can’t be/aren’t raped and assaulted
• If you inversely judge men and women by the number of sex partners they’ve had
• If you think that testing rape kits for DNA evidence is wasteful or should not be a priority for the justice system
• If you think our legal system brings justice for survivors of assault
• If in college you chanted about raping someone’s underage sister
  
• If you don’t recognize that someone drunk, sleeping or terrified cannot consent to sex
• If you think “I know you want it” is a pick-up line
• If you don’t take no for an answer
• If you pester someone until their no is a “fine!”
• If you think silence = consent
• If you joke about rape
• If you think rape is a women’s issue

Ok, certainly many of these things do not actually make you a rapist, but they do absolutely make you an active, encouraging participant in rape culture, so stop it! Nothing but equality and enthusiastic consent will do!

Happy Holidays loves and remember: everyone’s race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, (dis)ability, class and age all factor in to how rape culture works for or against them, so check your privilege.

Related articles

• Child rapist soldier successfully reduces sentence (getreading.co.uk)
• Delhi Muslim serial rapist arrested who targeted small girls (themuslimissue.wordpress.com)
• One Year After Horrific New Delhi Gang Rape, India Still Struggles With Rape Culture (thinkprogress.org)